Sending out a S.O.S

"In the days of being able to reach anyone anywhere, thanks to cell phones, and Skype, where you can now talk face to face over long distances, I loved the the shelter that speaking through type over a computer screen afforded me. I didn’t have to hear their reactions, or hesitations in their voices, or see it on their faces. People could take my feelings, let them absorb for awhile, and formulate a comment. Or they could read it anonymously, and I would never feel rejected because I wouldn’t know if they read it, or not." Erron Anderson

Oh boy, this says it all and oh how I can relate. For the few times that I have expressed loneliness to family I feel like my feelings are not validated or understood. "If you lived in Edmonton you wouldn't be lonely", this is the same response repeated over and over and is said to make me feel better - but it never does. It makes me feel worse. I simply don't have the heart to let them know how it truly makes me feel (until they read this). I have built my life in Calgary. I don't live in Edmonton, and there are no plans on moving back to Edmonton. I just feel like "if you lived in Edmonton" tampers on my feelings and my decision of where I chose to build my life and raise my children.

I personally struggle living in Calgary as I do not have many close friends to share my motherhood experiences with, and I so deeply desire this. I cope much better now 5 years in than I did the first year - which btw was brutal. There really isn't that one person that I can call in the middle of the night or day for that matter just to talk or spontaneously go do "girl things" with.

I often find myself self coaching as I've used this coping method for years now in different aspects of my life. I feel lonely more often than I care to admit. My simple truth is: I could use a good friend that is not my husband.

"I love when a post gets comments. I love them! I should work harder to comment on the blogs I read. Offering up comments is a form of generosity. I love knowing that, hey, you read my stuff, and you were either moved by it, agree with it, or you have something for me to think about. You can disagree, but comments that are hurtful or defamatory, well, you should keep those to yourself, and move on to other blogs that fit you better, where the writers are thick skinned." Erron Anderson