Sending out a S.O.S

"In the days of being able to reach anyone anywhere, thanks to cell phones, and Skype, where you can now talk face to face over long distances, I loved the the shelter that speaking through type over a computer screen afforded me. I didn’t have to hear their reactions, or hesitations in their voices, or see it on their faces. People could take my feelings, let them absorb for awhile, and formulate a comment. Or they could read it anonymously, and I would never feel rejected because I wouldn’t know if they read it, or not." Erron Anderson

Oh boy, this says it all and oh how I can relate. For the few times that I have expressed loneliness to family I feel like my feelings are not validated or understood. "If you lived in Edmonton you wouldn't be lonely", this is the same response repeated over and over and is said to make me feel better - but it never does. It makes me feel worse. I simply don't have the heart to let them know how it truly makes me feel (until they read this). I have built my life in Calgary. I don't live in Edmonton, and there are no plans on moving back to Edmonton. I just feel like "if you lived in Edmonton" tampers on my feelings and my decision of where I chose to build my life and raise my children.

I personally struggle living in Calgary as I do not have many close friends to share my motherhood experiences with, and I so deeply desire this. I cope much better now 5 years in than I did the first year - which btw was brutal. There really isn't that one person that I can call in the middle of the night or day for that matter just to talk or spontaneously go do "girl things" with.

I often find myself self coaching as I've used this coping method for years now in different aspects of my life. I feel lonely more often than I care to admit. My simple truth is: I could use a good friend that is not my husband.

"I love when a post gets comments. I love them! I should work harder to comment on the blogs I read. Offering up comments is a form of generosity. I love knowing that, hey, you read my stuff, and you were either moved by it, agree with it, or you have something for me to think about. You can disagree, but comments that are hurtful or defamatory, well, you should keep those to yourself, and move on to other blogs that fit you better, where the writers are thick skinned." Erron Anderson

Sisterhood

I've been reading Kelle Hampton's blog now for a couple of months (thanks Julie) and often find myself inspired by her love for life her children and photography! Some may say Kelle has been thrown some lemons in life(a child with Down Syndrome), but she sure has made some sweet sweet lemonade despite the challenges she faces raising Nella. And what a blessing Miss Nella is!



The joy that children bring is captivating, the challenge HUGE, probably the ONE largest, greatest, time consuming, life changing kind-of challenge there is. My house isn't always tidy (actually it's very infrequent that it is these days and I don`t anticipate this will change any time soon), my hair isn't always done nor the laundry, dinner isn't always made for my husband, and there are toys EVERYWHERE but my little is growing up in an emotionally secure home where it's okay to make messes, have a little dirt under his nails, and play without a diaper even after the numerous accidents that have called for the noisy monstrous water spewing, dirt sucking steam cleaner.

We learn, play and have fun together. We have spontaneous baths in the kitchen sink, read books, finger paint naked (him) and roar rather loudly like lions while terrorizing the house. We've broken a few things, bumped our heads, climbed a few things we shouldn't have perhaps but we are living our lives grateful that we have been blessed.


We are all doing our best.

"Women can be hard on each other" - be it weight, height, beauty, outlook on life or friendship or relationships, parenting you name it.

"We have insecurities and we say things and we hold standards for each other that sometimes aren't fair." Yes, we've all been guilty of this, we all also know what it feels like on the flip side and it ain't pretty. There is more power in lifting others up, than a clumsy push down.

"We can talk about things we shouldn't talk about and do things we shouldn't do", we should start holding each other accountable (in a private and acceptable manner) to really encourage respect for others and ourselves... we are all much better than belittling someone for our own gain.

"We really should be doing more", more for each other and less for ourselves.

"I believe in women and the amazing power we give each other. There are millions of amazing, inspiring, genuine women out there doing their best."

And I am one of them.

Garden Harvest

With September comes fall, one of my favorite seasons and a garden harvest! The cool crisp air, crunchy leaves, home made garden vegetable soup maybe pie? Heart warming or belly warming?

We grew some squash (zucchini and acorn squash). I really wanted Butternut Squash for Jack but wasn't able to find any so we did without. We steamed a few for dinner and used some for zucchini bread/cake which was appreciated by family, friends and Anthony's co-workers. Some was gifted with recipes and hopes that we could inspire others to start a family garden of their own. Watermelon, and cantaloupe also grew, but didn't have a long enough grow period.


We had heaps and oodles of peas, bowls full and a second crop to boot! Our green peas would crunch on first bite, some had a sweet freshness others were tempered by a grassy note. Jack would hand peas (and beans) over the fence to the "girl next door". Could it be love at first bite?

Beans, Beans, Beans... gotta grow some beans!! They were perfect when steamed, added to a soup or eaten alone.





I called Anthony on his work cell one afternoon and was directed to speak to his boss. Our conversation went a little like this: "Alvina, we haven't had any baking lately, why not?" A: " Tell you what Ron, I'll send some with Anthony as soon as you give him a raise." Ron laughs, "Actually, I just gave everyone a raise, I'll enjoy your baking tomorrow." So I pulled some carrots and made carrot cake, seems like a good way to celebrate a raise doesn't it?

We also were able to grow a bunch of other goodies including Swiss chard, broccoli, radish, tomatoes, celery, romaine/green lettuce, onions, green onions, garlic, and strawberries. Our rhubarb (thanks for thinning yours and gifting to us Jen)will need a couple more years before we are able to enjoy it's yummy-ness, and the raspberry bush will take some time too. Our city garden was massive this year and we hope that it will continue to be therapeutic, a source of good healthily food and pride.

My nephews visited for the weekend from out of town and helped harvest the garden. Nolan especially enjoyed the zucchini and Leland went nuts for potatoes... he filled his pant pockets with them until his pants were literally falling off!

We pickled some beets which we will savor on Thanksgiving, and for good measure we pickled some eggs because you have to have pickled eggs when you enjoy a few drinks; and well Anthony plans on drinking.

A great garden harvest warms hearts, and bellies and I think we have done just that!