The Entire Truth.

I have recently been coming out of a funk that's held me since pregnancy. I'm not sure if being a new mother or life's pressures are what put me there but let me tell you it has been a long lonely road finding my way back to the light of life and myself.

Some of you who know me well, know that I have been struggling emotionally, and unfortunately I have been too embarrassed to let most of you know the depth and of this difficult time. I feared that discussing what troubles my heart would cause stress/worry and we all know this is the last thing I want. We all have our challenges in life; they may be different, harder, tougher, or endless but my struggles are very real to me and I own them.

Anthony has been a life saviour and a great listener throughout this process and I wouldn't have come through as quickly if it weren't for him (if a year and a half is quick). I've mentioned the desire for a good girlfriend and by mistake, good luck, or Divine intervention I received this from someone I was least expecting it from, and I feel like a weight has been lifted.

I am now a lot less embarrassed about my inner struggles and ready to be honest; completely honest. I have been incredibly hard on myself this past year when it comes to losing the baby weight parenting and being a good wife. I have yet to lose all the baby weight and feel like a failure as ALL of my friends have lost ALL their weight (some quite easily); I know that my circumstances are quite different and there are limitations they may not have had to work around but it is still VERY disheartening to be left behind. I am used to being the leader of the pack, confident in my abilities and able to hide my weaknesses.

I absolutely love being a mother, and it brings me great joy. I just never thought that I would lose so much of the "old" me. It saddens me that I forgot about her, neglected her and never stood up for the things she needed. I've done everything for everyone else but it's time for me to take back control. Control of my emotions, weight, and health. I want to put my best self forward in ALL aspects of my life.