Sending out a S.O.S

"In the days of being able to reach anyone anywhere, thanks to cell phones, and Skype, where you can now talk face to face over long distances, I loved the the shelter that speaking through type over a computer screen afforded me. I didn’t have to hear their reactions, or hesitations in their voices, or see it on their faces. People could take my feelings, let them absorb for awhile, and formulate a comment. Or they could read it anonymously, and I would never feel rejected because I wouldn’t know if they read it, or not." Erron Anderson

Oh boy, this says it all and oh how I can relate. For the few times that I have expressed loneliness to family I feel like my feelings are not validated or understood. "If you lived in Edmonton you wouldn't be lonely", this is the same response repeated over and over and is said to make me feel better - but it never does. It makes me feel worse. I simply don't have the heart to let them know how it truly makes me feel (until they read this). I have built my life in Calgary. I don't live in Edmonton, and there are no plans on moving back to Edmonton. I just feel like "if you lived in Edmonton" tampers on my feelings and my decision of where I chose to build my life and raise my children.

I personally struggle living in Calgary as I do not have many close friends to share my motherhood experiences with, and I so deeply desire this. I cope much better now 5 years in than I did the first year - which btw was brutal. There really isn't that one person that I can call in the middle of the night or day for that matter just to talk or spontaneously go do "girl things" with.

I often find myself self coaching as I've used this coping method for years now in different aspects of my life. I feel lonely more often than I care to admit. My simple truth is: I could use a good friend that is not my husband.

"I love when a post gets comments. I love them! I should work harder to comment on the blogs I read. Offering up comments is a form of generosity. I love knowing that, hey, you read my stuff, and you were either moved by it, agree with it, or you have something for me to think about. You can disagree, but comments that are hurtful or defamatory, well, you should keep those to yourself, and move on to other blogs that fit you better, where the writers are thick skinned." Erron Anderson

Sisterhood

I've been reading Kelle Hampton's blog now for a couple of months (thanks Julie) and often find myself inspired by her love for life her children and photography! Some may say Kelle has been thrown some lemons in life(a child with Down Syndrome), but she sure has made some sweet sweet lemonade despite the challenges she faces raising Nella. And what a blessing Miss Nella is!



The joy that children bring is captivating, the challenge HUGE, probably the ONE largest, greatest, time consuming, life changing kind-of challenge there is. My house isn't always tidy (actually it's very infrequent that it is these days and I don`t anticipate this will change any time soon), my hair isn't always done nor the laundry, dinner isn't always made for my husband, and there are toys EVERYWHERE but my little is growing up in an emotionally secure home where it's okay to make messes, have a little dirt under his nails, and play without a diaper even after the numerous accidents that have called for the noisy monstrous water spewing, dirt sucking steam cleaner.

We learn, play and have fun together. We have spontaneous baths in the kitchen sink, read books, finger paint naked (him) and roar rather loudly like lions while terrorizing the house. We've broken a few things, bumped our heads, climbed a few things we shouldn't have perhaps but we are living our lives grateful that we have been blessed.


We are all doing our best.

"Women can be hard on each other" - be it weight, height, beauty, outlook on life or friendship or relationships, parenting you name it.

"We have insecurities and we say things and we hold standards for each other that sometimes aren't fair." Yes, we've all been guilty of this, we all also know what it feels like on the flip side and it ain't pretty. There is more power in lifting others up, than a clumsy push down.

"We can talk about things we shouldn't talk about and do things we shouldn't do", we should start holding each other accountable (in a private and acceptable manner) to really encourage respect for others and ourselves... we are all much better than belittling someone for our own gain.

"We really should be doing more", more for each other and less for ourselves.

"I believe in women and the amazing power we give each other. There are millions of amazing, inspiring, genuine women out there doing their best."

And I am one of them.

Garden Harvest

With September comes fall, one of my favorite seasons and a garden harvest! The cool crisp air, crunchy leaves, home made garden vegetable soup maybe pie? Heart warming or belly warming?

We grew some squash (zucchini and acorn squash). I really wanted Butternut Squash for Jack but wasn't able to find any so we did without. We steamed a few for dinner and used some for zucchini bread/cake which was appreciated by family, friends and Anthony's co-workers. Some was gifted with recipes and hopes that we could inspire others to start a family garden of their own. Watermelon, and cantaloupe also grew, but didn't have a long enough grow period.


We had heaps and oodles of peas, bowls full and a second crop to boot! Our green peas would crunch on first bite, some had a sweet freshness others were tempered by a grassy note. Jack would hand peas (and beans) over the fence to the "girl next door". Could it be love at first bite?

Beans, Beans, Beans... gotta grow some beans!! They were perfect when steamed, added to a soup or eaten alone.





I called Anthony on his work cell one afternoon and was directed to speak to his boss. Our conversation went a little like this: "Alvina, we haven't had any baking lately, why not?" A: " Tell you what Ron, I'll send some with Anthony as soon as you give him a raise." Ron laughs, "Actually, I just gave everyone a raise, I'll enjoy your baking tomorrow." So I pulled some carrots and made carrot cake, seems like a good way to celebrate a raise doesn't it?

We also were able to grow a bunch of other goodies including Swiss chard, broccoli, radish, tomatoes, celery, romaine/green lettuce, onions, green onions, garlic, and strawberries. Our rhubarb (thanks for thinning yours and gifting to us Jen)will need a couple more years before we are able to enjoy it's yummy-ness, and the raspberry bush will take some time too. Our city garden was massive this year and we hope that it will continue to be therapeutic, a source of good healthily food and pride.

My nephews visited for the weekend from out of town and helped harvest the garden. Nolan especially enjoyed the zucchini and Leland went nuts for potatoes... he filled his pant pockets with them until his pants were literally falling off!

We pickled some beets which we will savor on Thanksgiving, and for good measure we pickled some eggs because you have to have pickled eggs when you enjoy a few drinks; and well Anthony plans on drinking.

A great garden harvest warms hearts, and bellies and I think we have done just that!

The Perpetual Gift

Anthony has blessed my life in countless ways: he accepts me, loves me, supports/encourages me, created a family with me and he continues to share so much with me. I can't help but to feel grateful and blessed for this man and the life we have built together. I am so thankful! I've been thinking a lot lately of one of the many precious things Anthony has shared with me: his family.

I love the Bissoon family very much and feel their love and acceptance of me (yet another blessing). I am a daughter to Sharon, a sister to Rohana and Mandy (and I believe Sharon too), and I am an Auntie to Dalton and Breana. I must admit that we (Anthony and I) have landed in "in-law heaven" as our families get along quite well (minus a few silly dramas). I have seen faith at work (Sharon); shown true Christian character (Mandy), deeds and words (Rohana). Starting my relationship with God has been made easier with all your support and for this I will be forever appreciative!

They love us so much they even showed up to our wedding... most of them dressed to impress; Sharon however didn't... her clothes were in a laundry basket with her not on time Bissoon husband! Well, needless to say once those clothes arrived my mother had Sharon stripped down and re-dressed in a minute flat (and I'm NOT exaggerating). Let me tell you people, YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSE TO SEE YOUR MOTHER-IN-LAW NAKED EVER! (Conley would agree) ESPECIALLY ON YOUR WEDDING DAY, man that should have been a good enough excuse for cold feet, but even a naked mother-in-law wouldn't deter my love for Anthony. Our wedding was perfect, and our union is stronger than ever!

So speaking of love and weddings, I am uber excited for Mandy (my sister in-law) & Mike to be getting married!!! I am over the moon happy that Mandy gets to be a bride and have the wedding and life every little girl dreams of.

I'm fly off the roof top over joyed that I am going to be the Maid of Honour! I've been thinking about our friendship a lot lately and remembering many late night conversations, soul searching, mulling over the quiter times in our friendship, the silly giggles, and the love. I am blessed that we are always able to pick up where we left off and am truely thankful for this. Thank you Mandy.

Anthony has given me a gift that keeps on giving.... thank you Anthony and thank you Bissoon family for sharing your lives with me!

Canadian Smile

Anthony comes home from a hockey game and says (with a serious face) "So do you want the good news or the bad news?", this is a question that gets my attention every time. I generally always reply "Umm, the good news I guess." "We have good insurance", Me: "Ugh, okay... the bad news?" as I look up from the computer.

Anthony smiles and I get it. Must have been a Good Ol' Hockey Game!

After repeatedly asking if he's sure it didn't hurt we set our game plan - an obvious one: to see the dentist first thing in the morning and to inquire about accidental dental insurance with our provider.

The next morning Anthony calls me from the oral surgeon's office to tell me that the top left tooth was removed and that his right upper tooth may be saved depending on if any nerve sensation returns (~ 6 weeks wait). Dental surgery... gross, yuck, ouch and he still went to work after.



About a week later Anthony is working and asks to be excused (pointing to his mouth) as he had a hockey accident and explaining just sort of became customary to him (you'd be surprised how many people stare and make judgements). The lady tells Anthony that her husband is a oral surgeon and that he should leave to go see him right away, that she will call his office to make them aware that he is on his way. Later that day I get a call from "Chiclets" after he had seen Dr. Petty and he tells me that a brace was put across the front remaining teeth to try to stabilize them in hopes of saving them. The other teeth were grinded down to reduce the chance of them breaking while eating and eliminate the "ragged" look.

Anthony returned about 5 weeks later to have the brace removed and was x-rayed again and advised that he would be losing the upper right tooth as well as the break was higher than initially thought. Dr. Petty removed the tooth and put in a titanium screw, and did a bone graft (on the left side) as this was previously discussed, and would allow for dental implants to be added once the healing process is complete... dental surgery isn't cheap people!! That night I told him all I wanted for Christmas was his two front teeth!

So as it sits we're now waiting on our insurance provider to reimburse us (hopefully) the full amount we've spent so far, and to approve the cost of the new implants. Estimated total bill for a Canadian smile a whopping $8000...

Sweet Sweet Barbados

After 13 days in Trinidad we headed to Barbados for a family vacation with Jack. We were able to spend some time with the Zendran family as they also went but stayed in a different hotel.

After 2 weeks of constantly being aware of where we were and what we said/how late we stayed out it was a relief to be in Barbados. We could drink the water and flush our toilet! We could stay out past dark, and didn't have to gate ourselves in, thank God for Barbados.



We had a blast swimming, splashing and laughing in the ocean/pool.






We went for long walks on the beach.








Jack managed not to eat any sand the entire trip!






We feed some monkeys at The Barbardo Wildlife Reserve.

We went to Harrison's Cave.

Took some cool photos.

Got some rest.

MADE MEMORIES!!

3 in Trinidad

Three flights and over 19 hours later (each way) we finally can be called crazy! It's a great undertaking when you are travelling long distance AND with an infant. Long flights, change in time and weather can sometimes get the best of people, but we managed very well. Jack did not want to sit anywhere but VIP on Mama's lap, thus his father was able to rest a bit. Jack was nothing short of the perfect child: no crying, screaming or fussing! People would come off the plane and comment how great he did, some that they didn't even know he was on board. On the way home I recall leaning over to Anthony at one point and saying "I don't know why so many women are making travelling with an infant appear so difficult..."

Reconnecting with family was wonderful but even better was watching them all love up Jack (how could they not LOVE him?). Jack sure did draw a lot of attention, he was "the white baby", or more correctly the "white baby with blue eyes". From shopping, driving, or walking down the street we were always being stopped so everyone could admire him. Jack is a true Trini; he took to curry, doubles and coconut water!

Shelley and Lynn's weddings were both beautiful and we are grateful that we were included to share their special days. The Christian ceremony venue was stunning and was a nice treat to have being so far from home, it also allowed all the Trini's a glimpse of what our "western" weddings are like.

Our Indian wedding experience was fantastic: the tassa drummers, the ceremony, good company/conversation, good food, drinks, and dancing, it was simply amazing. Every time Anthony and I go to a wedding we remember our wedding day, our vows, our love and how much our love has grown over the years and how when we got married we never fully understood just how much fuller our lives would become.